The Snark: Premiere of DWTS, Will Smith, an Itchy Criminal and Special Bananas

It's not the news...It's the Snark Report with Derek James!

CHARLOTTE, N.C. –

Those dancing d-listers are back…last night was the premiere of Dancing with the Stars and the judges liked former bachelors as much as the bachelorettes did.

Happy birthday to Will Smith.Β  And boy is he gonna celebrate!

A criminal, mosquitoes and cops…make for one bad joke (which should be a crime).

Cocaine…when you like a little something more with your bananas than cereal.

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