The Snark: MasterChef, New Health Drink, Phones & Toilets, Raccoon Vending Machine, Prison Riot

It's not the news...It's the Snark Report with Derek James!

Is that Mario Batali on Masterchef? (No, but there is a garlic bread snob.)

North Korea has a new so-called “health drink.”

Texting on the toilet is too much to ask for some people.

Some vending machines don’t give you your drink… others just give you a raccoon.

California prisoners just want to see Fuller House.

Follow Derek on Facebook or on Twitter @DerekJamesTV.  And check out more Snarks on The Snark Report on Facebook.